s0metimes pe0ple just d0nt understand..

~ She says she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story.   ~ Behind my smile is a hurting heart.  Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart.  Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me. ~ To tell you the truth, I've just been avoiding everything. ~Don't say you know me, when I don't even know myself.  ~ I think I'm afraid of being happy because everytime I'm happy, something bad always happens. ~ Just once I want someone to look at me right away and think I was beautiful.  Not after they get to know me, or after they see inside my soul, just me.  I want to walk in a room and light up, not blend. ~ I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much. ~ A golden heart stopped beating, working hands went to rest.  He broke many hearts to prove to us, he only takes the best. ~ When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget. ~There is only one rain cloud in the sky...and it's raining on me.  Somehow I'm not surprised. -Eeyore- ~ I wake up and think dreams are real.  I sleep so I don't have to feel. ~ It's not that I wanna have it, it's just that I wanna deserve it. ~ I don't know if you've ever felt like that.  That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.  I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.  That's why I'm trying not to think.  I just want it all to stop spinning. -The Perks of Being A Wildflower- ~ Walking down the hall with her head held high, every hair is in its place, sees a friend and she waves hi, wearing a smile on her perfect face.  Friendly, smart, and beautiful, everyone adores this girl.  Seemingly content, her head's in a whirl.  Inside she's unhappy, and doesn't know why.  She lays in her bed at night and cries.  She doesn't know what causes the tears; how could this princess have insecurities or fears?  She has it all.  A pretty smile, many friends, a great guy, the newest trends, her family has money, she gets good grades, has her own car, and her makeup never fades.  Always looking happy, every single day, but inside she's feeling a different way.  This is wonder girl, she's everyone's dream, but things aren't always what they seem. ~ I don't deserve you...I never did. ~ Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand. ~ No matter what, no matter who, no matter what I do, somebody hates me.  -Reel Big Fish- ~ Cause fucking up takes practice, and I feel I'm well rehearsed.  ~ I didn't want to admit it.  It was easier to lie.  Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry. ~ I've learned it takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it. ~ Life doesn't hurt until you think about how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault. ~ Why can't you just love me for who I am? ~ Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense?  Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile... ~ I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain. ~ Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again.  So when life gets tough you can just play pretend.  I wanna go back to when Santa did exist.  When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed.  When Disney World was the best place to be.  When the only movies you could see were rated G.  When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same.  And every time you were sad or you had a bad day.  You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay.  I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter.  When everyone always lives happily ever after. ~ When I cry at night, the only thing I can think to myself is...how can I seem so---perfectly fine in the morning.  Why do I smile like nothing is wrong?  And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay? ~ I don't know what I want in life.  I don't know what I want right now.  All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any more of me left.  Everything that ever cause a tear to trickle down my cheeks, I run away and hide from it.  But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me.  And I don't know what to do.  I just know that the pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten times more. ~ Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by.  I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait... ~ Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever. ~ It sucks to be alone, even when there are people all around you.   -Scrubs- ~ I wanna get lost from my life sometimes, sit on the side and watch the world go by, I wanna get lost and I don't know why.   -Everclear- ~ Have you ever lived my life, have you ever spent one minute in my shoes?  If you haven't, then tell me why you judge me like you do. ~ Every morning you get up and put on a fake smile...but what if one morning you didn't?  Would anyone notice? ~ I'm not saying I have nothing.  I'm not saying I'm gone completely.  It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle.  Sometimes I feel like it's too much.  I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right?  Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years.  But for now, just for now, it hurts. ~ You know sometimes, like when someone dies, and you're sad, and it's ok to be sad?  But then there are times when you're supposed to be happy but you're sad anyway...and those times are even worse than the times when you're supposed to be sad. ~ I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything?  Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself.